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Teething Baby!!

Approach with caution exhausted mummy post today…

So the tooth fairy’s evil twin sister the teething fairy has arrived in our household this week and has possessed our happy 6 month baby girl Layla and turned her in to what I can only describe as the devil baby!

Luckily that nasty teething fairy didn’t get hold of Layla when her first two teeth cut through but she’s back with avengence this time as her top tooth is cutting through.

I honestly forgot how exhausting it is when you have a teething baby. I must admit I have had it extremely easy with this little princess so I was bound to have sometime crop up sooner rather than later. 

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Sex after birthing a baby!!

So it’s been 6 months to the day since our little Layla was born and I have had a moment tonight to reflect on what my body actually went though that day and how the thought of being intimate after giving birth can scare the life out of anyone who’s just pushed a real life person out your vagina/flower/mooey/peanut what ever you people call yours.

Despite begging the midwives to sew your flaps shut so you never have to experience pain like that again they decline, to then to just ask to add a extra stitch to make sure your not loose for that all important reunion of cock meeting fanny after the recent mutalation. They reassure you that if you do go on to have another the next baby it won’t just fall out and that your fanny will, at some point – go back to ‘normal.’ You may not believe it at the time but it is true 😬

For the first couple of weeks, your fanny will be the last thing on anyone’s mind – except of course, yours – every time your beautiful battered front bottom touches a seat and you feel like you’ve sat on glass. Having to find that comfy spot to have a pee meaning one cheek resting on the seat while the other leg is up in the air and your having to pour warm water down your fanny while you pee to stop that all mighty sting… it isn’t pretty girls. No one informs you how unglamorous it is to have a child from a woman’s point of view. 

As a result, your mind will not be on sex at this period of your life more wishing the day where you could feel human having a pee rather than feeling like a dog cocking it’s leg to have a pee or being able to sit down without making that crap I didn’t sit down properly squeak.

But Life is a cruel mistress, and a mistress that favours mankind and their serpents – because while you are wincing everytime you perch anywhere, your partners dick has remained unscathed from the act of making babies and every opportunity that snake in his pants has it will grow when your in his presence to remind you it’s still there and it’s ready to devour its prey…

So a man has needs (like they keep on and on and on reminding us about), and you can only put off a mans need to hump for so long.

However If he ever says your fanny may be out of action but your mouth is not… give him I can’t believe you fucking said that to me and if you put that devil stick anywhere near my face I’m going to bite it off you cheeky git and I will make you wait even bloody longer stare! Cause Let’s face it men can be so selfish sometimes 😂

So you put a brave face on and decide to take one for the team because you feel this isn’t going to be pretty. It isn’t. Your partners face though is likely to look like they are about to have Birthday, Christmas and new year all wrapped up into one evening and after giving strict instructions to your lover not to touch your legs (hairy) or tits (aching and most likely milking) you engage in the ol’ slap and tickle. With minimal slapping and/or tickling. 

Thinking about it though it would be funny to solider through the tit pain just so u can get him in the face with your breast milk… 10 points for anywhere on the face, extra 25 for the eyes, 15 up the nose and 50 if u get it in his mouth 🙊 

But Lets be real ok, it was never gonna be a hot passionate session with your souls reconnecting in a way that makes the stars shine and your legs go weak. It’ll probably feel like your Partner has introduced a red hot poker up your chuff, but don’t PANIC. 

Forget about your titties nesting in your armpits, because it’ll feel alright again the next time or at some point before your kid moves out or in most cases brings the new girlfriend/boyfriend into the home and they start having their own little family.

Forget about the feeling of why am I allowing something shoved in when I’ve just shoved my baby out… I don’t want another one in there!! Accidents do happen you know. 

You see people a fanny is a magical thing, they change and they grow and they do crazy stuff – some fannies are experts at ejecting babies and others make their name ejecting ping pong balls (personally I think ping pong balls are not very ambitious when us women pop babies out but hey that’s me!)

Sooooo it feels horrendous the first time, uncomfortable and your so tense because you think it’s going to make you scream (not in the way your thinking about either dirty.. but in pure pain) but you have a kid now – so you can avoid it forever by hearing ‘baby cries’ or accept that you will be having quickies for the next 18 years. 

And by quickies I literally do mean the 5 minutes you get while peppa pigs on and you know damn well your child isnt going to shout spit shit or want for anything while those annoying little pigs jump in those bloody muddy puddles!

Look at it this way, if it felt dreadful forever then no one would ever have more than one kid would they? 

Heres mine and Ben’s little cockblocks. And I honestly wouldn’t change them for the world they mean everything to me.

And just remember girls if all else fails and you don’t get your mo-jo back you can always get him a Harmony Robot 😂😂😂

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A dogs purpose film review

 I absolutely LOVED this film. It had me laughing and crying throughout the whole film. 

My other half thought I was a bit potty one minute crying at the film and then the next minute laughing.

It really was a enjoyable family film to watch. We all enjoyed it.

The story tells us of one particular dog, trying to find his purpose in life and all the dog lives it took to find this purpose and how with all his lives he finds his way back to one particular person.. Ethan.

I don’t want to give to much away if you haven’t seen the film, but trust me it is definetly a film to watch. I honestly feel I could watch this film over and over again.

It has 10/10 for the family film in our household. We loved it. 

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Easter Half Term 2017

Wow 2 weeks of half term has come and gone rather quick and I know it sounds stupid but I’m actually looking forward to having some routine back in my life. 

I feel exhausted. It’s been my first half term where it’s me looking after both kids since Layla was born in November (Ben works nights). I was extremely lucky to have Ben off for 6 weeks after our little girl was born.

Trying to keep a 7 year old entertained and not bored during the holidays is not for the faint hearted when you have to see to a 4 month old baby, aswell as keeping a flat up together and overseeing the run of the business. Is hard work!! Multi-tasking at its finest right here!

I was not expecting these two weeks to tire me out as much as they have. I couldn’t wait for Layla’s bedtime just to chill (well more like falling asleep while my little pony is still playing). So having some routine that we have when it’s not half term I am looking forward to, although not being able to stay in my PJ’s for a extra hour I won’t be looking forward to.

So what have we done over the Easter break? Other than the normal mummy duties (the boring bits).

Well we have had our first BBQ of the year at Grandads house. We enjoyed the sunshine stuffed our faces and had a giggle. It was a very nice day.

Riley and Layla also had a day with their auntie Maezee and then a day with their auntie Jessie. The kids loved it being all silly  and burning off a lot of energy. They slept well both days so thanks girls.

We have had days just chilling at grandads house (with this nice weather we have been having it’s lovely to be able to get Riley and Layla out in the garden). 

Daddy also took us to the park for an ice cream. Riley was in his element and made a few new friends. Swear that boy can make friends anywhere, but then kids are just so innocent. Layla loved trying daddy’s ice cream for the first time….


She didn’t like daddy to much once he took the ice cream away though. (We only let her have a little bit).


Also over the half term period little lady has cut not one but two teeth!!! Thankfully now they have cut through she’s back to sleeping all through the night starting from 8/8:30pm. Although 5:30am seems to be the new wake up time.

We was lucky enough to have the bank holiday weekend with daddy. Daddy let mummy have a much needed catch up on some sleep. I could actually take one of my sleeping tablets prescribed by the doctor. I can’t take them when Ben’s working and I’m on my own with the little people. 

Daddy also gave mummy a little treat and took her to see Beauty and the Beast at the cinema. Which I loved and cannot wait to buy on DVD

Easter Sunday came round quick and we had a tasty gammon roast dinner at grandads house. Even Layla got to try one of grandads roasts. She liked it a lot. She’s a definite foody. 

Didn’t like Easter Sunday though when the bloody car decided to play up though!!!

We also booked our first lot of tickets ready for our holiday. (See previous post Holiday for 2018 is booked). Cannot wait to take Riley to swim with the dolphins. Unfortunately Layla will be too little. But it just means we get to go back and do it again for her. (Any excuse for me haha).


All in all it’s been a lovely Easter break with family and friends. Layla loved her first Easter, Riley was good and got way to much chocolate. They both enjoyed spending so much time with everyone too.

Back to routine tomorrow though…

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When should you get your child a mobile phone?

So when is the right time to get your child a mobile phone?

Riley has just turned 7 and seems to think he is now old enough for a mobile phone! I don’t think so little man.

As a business women where I earn a living from selling mobile contracts with the major networks to those that have their own business or are self employed I’m surrounded by mobiles on daily basis (www.rightplancomms.co.uk). 

I have my own mobile phone. So am I being hypercritical for denying my son a mobile phone?

Hear me out. Firstly he’s 7! Am I wrong for wanting to protect him for as long as possible from the world of social media and maybe online bullying? 

You hear over and over again on documentaries and the news of children being bullied online so they have no escape.  Online bullying that can cause so many issues for a child mentally where a percentage of children take their own life!! They can’t even be at home to get away from the bullying which should feel the safest place in the world for any child. So am I not doing a good thing keeping our home this safe place for him for as long as possible by blocking his online access?

Don’t get me wrong Riley has a PS4 that he can play games etc on but we have not signed him up with a online profile so he cannot play games and talk to people around the world. I’m absolutely terrified of all this online grooming that goes on. 

He also has a IPad that he has family members numbers on so he can use FaceTime, children’s YouTube so I can keep an eye and allow what he watches and again he has games on here. He knows the rules when it comes to the Ipad. If he plays a game where other people can interact with him (roblox) he is only allowed to play these in the presence of an adult. If he breaks this rule he losses his iPad for a week and that game gets removed!

I personally don’t think a child needs a mobile until they start secondary school (around 12/13 years old). Even then though I will still try to protect both my children for as long as possible. I feel in today’s era our children are growing up well before needed. Keep them as children for as long as possible I say. 

So unfortunately Riley you have a while yet before mummy and daddy get you a mobile phone. Much to his disappointment. He will just have to make do with what he’s got! 

Am I being to strict? Am I not being strict enough? What’s your views and tips about this topic I would love to hear them.

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My little treat from Ben 🍿

So today Ben had a little surprise for me.

He wouldn’t tell me anything what we was doing and sorted our good friends Michelle & Mark to watch the kids so he could treat me.

Well he took me to see one of my favourite childhood films the new live action movie. Beauty and the beast. My excitement was unreal I felt like a child again I couldn’t wait to watch it.

Before the film started we went for some food at TGI Fridays. We ordered.. waited.. waited.. and waited some more. Thinking they must of been out shooting the cow for our burgers we was about to complain when our waiter came over to apologise. They had a technical error and although our order was placed on the system it didn’t go over to the chefs system. Arrrgggghhhh we was starving by this time but was assured our order was now taking priority. We didn’t have to make a complaint the manager came straight over and gave us 25% discount and 5 minutes later our food arrived and it was really nice.

Then it was time for our film. Not only was Ben treating me to a cinema trip but we went to the newest cinema with… wait for it.. recliner chairs!!! It was so awesome I didn’t have dead legs or a bad back from the usual uncomfy cinema seats.


The film… I loved it. Totally lived up to my expectations. Had all the classic songs you love in the original animated movie plus new ones. I couldn’t help but sing along to the ones I knew in my head.

I loved the slight plot changes too (I won’t say unless someone is reading this who hasn’t yet seen it). 

It was a great film and I will be buying it on DVD when it’s released.

Ben dozed off during the film. Had to nudge him because he started to snore. Bless him he was so tired from work but still made the time and effort to treat me and give me a break from being mummy for a few hours. 

Had a lovely day catching up just the two of us and watching a film I’ve been so eager to see but also couldn’t wait to get home and snuggle with our babies and watch a film of Rileys choice. 

All in all a lovely day.

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To Shave or NOT to Shave….

So today while I got a brief moment to myself I caught up on a little bit of day time TV.

So on this morning, they where having a debate on if woman should shave or not after Madonnas daughter hit the headlines for letting her armpit hair go on show.

It’s armpits at dawn on the debate. Click here to watch the debate I saw.

I personally don’t like arm pit hair on myself so I shave, but then I have PCOS so I don’t like my excess facial hair either so that gets plucked on a regular basis. However I do only shave my legs on a need to basis. I’ve been known to leave my legs a month before. This is mainly in the winter. I tell my other half it’s to keep my legs warm (he doesn’t believe me) but really it’s cause I cannot be bothered and I’m wearing trousers so no ones exactly going to see them! 

How do I feel about body hair on other women? To be honest it doesn’t really bother me. Every one is a individual and entitled to do as they please. Just the same as people who get tattoos. It’s the persons personal preference. If I saw another woman with really long leg hair or arm pit hair I would likely be shocked as it isn’t something you would usually see but I wouldn’t be disgusted by it or really have an opinion on that individual. Everyone is entitled to express themselves and do not have to follow the stereotypes the media place upon both men and women and even children for that matter. 

So I say do as you please, shave or don’t shave it’s your choice. Just find it amusing how the media make such a hype over someone not shaving THEIR body hair!!

But tell me which side of the fence are you on?